Dear Jodie,
I'm in my forties with two failed marriages. I met this girl at a bar, and we have been dating for awhile. Things are getting serious and I am thinking of getting her name tattooed on my body. I would never do this, normally, but I feel compelled to make some sort of statement of devotion. My last wife was very conservative. Perhaps that's why I'm so intrigued by the idea. But I read a lot about tattoo regrets and I certainly don't want to make one.
I also have two children that are school-aged. Should I hide it from them? They have been to counseling, but I know they still miss the family unit. How do you feel about name tattoos? - Nameless in Ohio
Dear Nameless in Ohio,
I commend you for thinking about your children. They should come before Sally, Jane, or who knows?
Your children are likely looking at you for direction and how to pick up the pieces after the separation or divorce. I do not know who Jane is, but I wonder how much time Jane has spent with the children and what sacrifices she is willing to make to be part of the family unit. Name tattoos are very risky, as you might know. You should proceed with caution.
Here are my thoughts:
Jane might be gone next week.
Jane might have taken off with your best friend.
How well do you know Jane?
Your body will serve you for a lifetime. Name tattoos, while devotional, don't leave any margin for error. I do believe you should consider the circumstances of your divorce and your children's feelings before you ink another woman's name.
You said you are intrigued by the idea. This tells me that there is room for exploration in your relationship. Maybe Jane signifies either fantasies, or a lifestyle that you're considered acting out. Have you discussed other options for portraying your commitment?
Is Jane willing to get a name tattoo?
Sometimes Jane just needs the attention, especially if you have children. Is this a premature attempt to mark her territory?
Name tattoos are one of the most popular forms of tattoo regret. Many people cover them up once the relationship goes sour or remove them with advanced technology such as laser tattoo removal. Both options are costly and painful.
How about giving Jane some time? At least a year. By then, you will know if this is a fleeting romance or one that deserves a permanent place on your heart. I don't know the extent of your involvement, but I do know that many people regret name tattoos. If you're hell-bent on honoring Jane with a name tattoo, I recommend that Jane takes the plunge, as well. There are many couple tattoo ideas that may appeal to both of you. From script tattoos that commemorate your first date to a flower or Zodiac symbols that celebrate either your birth sign or relationship, I think it's safe to say that if Jane's not in, you shouldn't be either.
Many people have tattoo regrets. It's normal. It happens. Don't get inked when you're caught up in the moment. While Jane is a fairly common name, she might be a hard person to replace. On the other hand, your children deserve this devotion. Perhaps you should consider tattoos that honor them. Ask Jane how she feels about that. If she agrees, she might be a keeper, rather than a costly mistake.
No comments:
Post a Comment